Thursday, November 27, 2008

They attacked my country

Yesterday night my country was attacked. Attacked by young men who are nothing but cowards..who fight in the name of religion, when in reality they really don't understand what religion really is.. what do they hope to achieve?

Gun bearing terrorists attacked Mumbai yesterday night. Mumbai is like India's New York. The fight is still on.. They are holed up in 2 of Mumbai's biggest Hotels (Hotel Taj and Oberoi) along with hundreds of guests, many of them foreigners. They seem to be after British and American citizens... But for me all they are after is a make belief heaven.... More than 100 people have already died... Does human life not mean anything at all anymore?

Is this the world I want for my babies?

I am beyond upset...God please take care of the people n Mumbai..

On a side note..I had a very vivid dream day before yesterday I had woken up in cold sweat...the dream was about gun battle between 2 groups and I had seen my husband get shot... and today similar scenes are taking place in Mumbai..Coincidence??

TTC diary: Aunt Flow is on her way..I can feel her.... I don't want to call her the Witch any more..after all she is just doing her work... And she is very good at it...she is rarely late or early...and doesn't give me to much pain while her stay ..... I welcome her when she comes, after all its the start of another cycle...but I really wont mind if she takes a long vacation...with all the hard work she does, i do think she deserves 9-10 months off.....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I actually enjoy the 2ww!!! i mean this is the only time i allow myself to feel pregnant... I actually don't feel jealous of preggy ladies and can look at kids and smile...but i draw a line there..I CANNOT deal wit pregnant friends nope no way naha.... Hubby's friend called me a few days back but thank god i was busy and couldn't attend..he then sent me a text boy yeyeeee...ahem..i didn't reply...he his hubby;s frend let him deal with it....

TTC diary: AF cramps..... hate them so....

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Writing blues..

I follow some really interesting blogs and Must admit that one of the reasons I follow them is because they are well written...But I myself don’t pay too much attention to how i write here...and I wish I wrote more frequently.......But writing has become my job (am an editorial manager, and writing and editing is something i do to make money now)..There was a time when writing was my passion. Not any more. Writing outside of office has become a chore, and i really do not like the way it has turned out.... Writing used to be my passion, the 0ne thing I enjoyed doing over everything else.....

I wish I had followed my heart and become a teacher...but i wanted my family to be proud of me...I always thought becoming successful will finally make me at par with my beautiful and talented sisters....I wanted to be seen and appreciated...I realized a little late that everyone did love me and accept me with all my flaws... I am finally taking a step towards fulfilling my dream...I am going to finally do my master in political science, something I was unable to do as I had to start working immediately after graduation to support my mom...I hope in another 3 years I will become a teacher.. . And maybe then writing will become what it was meant to, my passion. I will finally write that book about daddy.... plz let me do it dad....!

TTC diary: yesterday I had my first real heart to heart talk about ttc and it felt really good....we decided to just continue trying and not put a time line. I am just 29 and he is 28... Guess we have some time...but for that we will need the strength that you brave girls seem to possess. Pray for us...

Thursday, November 20, 2008


This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and yet, it is so funny. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.

'Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...''Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?''Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.''Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.''She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look''Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,

''It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.''Tripod?''Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'Mrs. Smith fainted!

hard times.............

Am I PMSing? I still have 8-10 days before the RED witch is supposed to arrive!!!

Mad mad mood swings...I had a terrible fight with hubby yesterday night... He has his Bar exams and has been busy staying up late (at his friends place) studying...I cant sleep till he comes home and he cant study at home.... I cannot survive on -6 hours of sleep... and over that my terrible mood swings..i created a huge scene at 2am!! cried buckets.... everything is OK now. Thankfully neither of of drag a fight for too long and don't sleep over an argument. But i honestly felt down in the dumps..suicidal even...felt like there is no purpose in life.. I hate PMS.... it makes me weak...aha and it also tells me that I am NOT pregnant...............................

EDIT: I just came across this quote from a blog I follow..."Holding on to the dream, until the pain of trying hurts more than the pain of letting go" so true..

Friday, November 14, 2008

Ovulation caught on camera

OK, so this may gross some people out, but i was fascinated to see what really happens inside m body every month....

Just for laughs...

Monday, November 10, 2008


I still have dreams of seeing a BFP...but the dreams are dying a slow death. I have zero energy to go forward with this is CD9. I dont think i am going to go for that Lap next month after all. No insurance, and not enough money....

I am trying hard to make peace with what ever is happening in my life.. trying very hard to have other dreams.... I will manage, I am a fighter and will not wallow in self pity for t long.... IUI, IVF? hah.... MONEY!!!!! where the hell is the money man??

So now my blog will be more then just trying to conceive... I hope I can make life the same too....

Friday, November 7, 2008

Lets talk about books!!!!!!!!!

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline (or mark in a different color) the books you LOVE

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible -
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (so classic)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Another cycle...

Yawn... another cycle, another long wait... I start Letrozole again today... the same routine as last month...but but but here is the catch.. FS wants to check my tubes next you are talkig girl..... :)