Saturday, February 19, 2011

Life in Bullet Points


  • Yesterday was my fifth wedding anniversary. I had a talk with M sometime back about our marriage and its future. Yesterday, M took a day off from both college and office. A huge, huge deal for him. He never takes time off, for anybody! That’s the main problem we have in our marriage. Not only that. M also did not take any calls from anybody and when his office folks paged him about some important stuff that needed to be done, he mailed them that he would come early in the morning to finish that work. He went to office today morning 5am! Just so he could spend the whole of yesterday with his family. It’s a start, a good start. I think we can work things out. This was my status on FB yesterday “He may not gift me diamonds, but he shampooed my hair when I was too ill to do so myself. He may not buy flowers for me, but his tears when he saw me in pain after the wisdom tooth extraction was enough gift for me. Happy Anniversary Mallik. Our marriage is a roller coaster ride, thank God for that. I would have lost interest long ago otherwise...”
  • . I don’t think I mentioned earlier that Danny started teething late. He got his first tooth after his first birthday. He now has 7 teeth. Now his molar is on its way out. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I was in any case wasn’t getting enough sleep, but now Danny is waking up every TWO hours at night. Any suggestions on how to ease his pain? And mine?
  • . During the first two months after Danny’s birth, he refused to sleep – at all! I actually carried him around the whole day. The moment I put him down he would start howling. I went days without bathing ( I had NO help). Food became a luxury. In the third month I discovered the binky and what a lifesaver it was. Danny learned to sleep! Next two months were the best. He slept in his crib and everything was fantastic. But then he learned to roll over and I got scared shit of SIDS so I bought him over to our bed to co-sleep. I tried to get him back to his crib – no use. Danny now owns our bed. BAD BAD for my sleep. This guy’s a mover. He moves 360 degrees and kicks and sits up and talks in his sleep, sigh.
  • .Danny is almost potty trained. We still have accidents, but they are few and far between. Danny is diaper free during the daytime. Night time is another story altogether.
  • . No more TTC for me. I have given up. Call me a loser if you want to, but I can’t take the stress. I have my miracle baby, and if the Universe wants, we will be able to adopt our second child. I am thinking of getting my tubes tied. What? An infertile getting her tubes tied seems ridiculous . but otherwise a single unprotected incident gives way to hope, and then heartbreak.
  • . Yesterday, we got news that a little baby girl has been abandoned in M’s friend’s hospital. It breaks my heart. Things like these are very common here in India where a girl child is unwanted. She is three months old. The hospital administration is trying to get her adopted. We said we are interested. Haven’t heard from them yet. I live in hope.
  • . I have started chanting again. Chanting helped me so much earlier, and I am sure it will help me find myself again. I am walking out of the darkness. I don’t like it here.

11 comments:

Aramelle said... Best Blogger Tips

-Happy Anniversary! I am glad that you all got to spend a day together. It sounds like it was a good one. :)
-I feel your pain on the teething woes. Our little one was a very early teether and is currently working on all four of his first molars at the same time. They've finally reached the point where the entire surface of the tooth has broken the gum...OUCH is right!
-Almost potty trained? Wow! That is very impressive at his age.
-You're certainly not a loser for deciding to no longer TTC. I hope your adoption plans work out as you want them to.
-Your family is beautiful. That is such a fantastic photo.

thirtiesgirl said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy Anniversary! Thanks so much for your blog support--much appreciated.
I understand your reasoning for longer ttc--it makes sense to me. Hoping you can lift yourself out of this dark spot soon.

Stacey said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi there! Just stopping in on your blog to say HELLO!!! Hope you are enjoying your day!

noswimmers said... Best Blogger Tips

Orajel, orajel, orajel...tylenol tylenol tylenol...repeat. ;-) It's the only thing that helps my little man.

And potty-whaaa? SERIOUSLY potty trained?? HOW? Jeepers what an advanced little man! I haven't even begun to think about that and Sherbert is only a day older than Danny!

SO cute btw. :)

rebecca said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for stopping by my blog & your kind words! Happy Anniversary to you & your husband! Hope the chanting brings you peace and helps you to center yourself.

Miriam said... Best Blogger Tips

Chamomilia worked wonders for my long, slow and painful teether.

Happy anniversary!

ICLW #61

Esperanza said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy Fifth Wedding Anniversary! It sounds like a very nice day indeed.

I hope you find peace with your decision to stop TTC#2. I understand your need for complete closure. I hope the miracle of adoption allows you to build your family in other ways. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the opportunity that presented itself at the hospital.

I really love your blog, very well written. More like poetry in some parts than a post. I look forward to following you!

Happy ICLW! (#67)

awomanmyage said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy Anniversary. Marriage is a lot of work, isn't it? having a child means you really have to treasure each other. Your husband loves you very much.

I use homeopathic remedies for my son's teething (his molars are coming in too). I don't know what is available where you live but I use Camilia and Hyland teething gel when it's really bad.

Do you chant nam myoho ho renge kyo?

ICLW

Mrs. Gamgee said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy Anniversary!

My Beloved and I had the conversation about who would get surgically alterred when our child bearing was done... and that was long before we found out about our IF and RPL issues. He's the one who's going to go under the knife... so much easier procedure.

ICLW

Stout Ranch said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy Anniversary! What a fabulous thing!
I hope and pray that your family will be completed through the miracle of adoption!
Are you Buddhist or Hindi? I was raised with a mix of both and Christianty and I sorely miss the eastern ways.

Articia said... Best Blogger Tips

Best of luck to you and your husband with your adoption efforts - A noble decision.