Monday, December 15, 2008

A rant..

So the HSG nightmare is behind me now... even thinking about it gives me jitters....It’s one memory I just want to forget.

The weekend was Okay. Mallik was busy with his studies so I had another week to myself. Was I lonely? Yes, definitely. But I had so much to do. Cleaning the house, cooking, office work...the days just passed. Was I lonely? Yes I was. It’s not enough to be busy. I crave an intelligent conversation. I crave the days of laughter and tears that I can only get with friends. I have an amazing husband, but he does have his own life. I left my family, friends, and my city, everything for this one guy I met on the Internet. Did I love him so much that I left so much of myself behind in Delhi? I guess I did, otherwise I wouldn’t have stuck it out with him for almost three years now! But my love for him, or my happiness with this marriage does not change the fact that I need my own social circle. Problem is that I am very eccentric person. Very, very friendly, but cannot make a friend with whom I can stick for long. I just get bored! But hey, I have my books J and I have my dreams... I will again learn to enjoy my own company...

Ok, there is this one incident I want to crib about. My mother in law came over the weekend (Saturday afternoon). She stays with my SIL. Why?

Mallik’s grandmother and brother stay with us. I do the best I can for this family, whatever I can do without giving up on who I am. I am not perfect and am sure made mistakes. But in any case, MIL no longer stays with us and I can’t say I am complaining.

On Saturday she came and I was cordial with her (am NOT friendly with her anymore). On Sunday she started cleaning our house. I WAS angry. I have been taking care of this house for the last 2 years without any help. She wasn’t there when Mallik was ill or when I was ill. When we had no money to buy medicine even and had to use our credit cards. She WAS NOT there. And now, she decides to be nice. I was not ready to budge. I simply went up to her and asked her to relax when she comes to our home and that I will do the cleaning. She said it’s not a problem and continued. I let it pass.

After Mallik left to study with his friends, granny called me and asked me to give a saree and some bangles to our watchman’s wife, Chandra. I felt good actually. Than MIL asked Chandra, to give me ashirwad (bless me), pray for a son for me. I was almost in tears. If I had known this is what they were trying I would have said no to all this nonsense. In the evening again, granny started grumbling about me not having a baby. I joked about it but she was serious. Later, a neighbour of mine (the closest I have to a friend. She is infertile too. That’s enough to bring us close) came to visit me. MIL was all nice to her and then asked her “when are you planning to have a baby”. I was so upset, but that’s not the end. She went on to tell my friend to ask me to start PLANNING.

I lost it at that moment. I didn’t want to start an argument without Mallik around so waited for him. Once he came and I told him about all this, he just snapped. He blasted his mom and granny. Said don’t u dare talk to my wife like this ever again. They are scared of him, so it worked..for now....

I really need a break from all this...

PS: I forgot to add. MIL told another Neighbour (who is also close to me), that she is planning to move back with us once I have a baby..hmmmm.


Nikki said... Best Blogger Tips

It's so good that your DH supports you and stands up for you.

That is so precious in this whole equation.

Sorry about the MIL and GrandMIL.