I couldn't resist...yesterday was 13DPO, and I tested..yup you guessed it.BFN!!! yawn so what is new in that.. I didn't even feel upset... i mean as upset as i generally get.. I am tired of being sad and bitter... I want a baby... I want to give DH the best gift possible, but there is nothing I can do now...
We have given ourselves a deadline now. We try till my 30th Birthday (26th March, 2009). Then we start walking the adoption path... painful as it is, I need sanity in life... I need to go back to loving myself, I need to have an hours conversation without mentioning Ovulation. TTCing, BFP, cervical Mucus.... I need to watch a movie and not get all teary.... I need to start living again. I need to make love to my husband without worrying about position and timing....
Edit:
I am scared of going to the bathroom. I DONT want to see the red witch today.... But I can feel her coming, and I can feel the tears too.. I am at work and really dont want to have a howling sessio here. All I want is to be alone, but I have a workshop to conduct. Need to practice my fake smile again...
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