I am angry. No, angry is a small word for what I am feeling right now.
Remember the baby we wanted to adopt and who was sent to an orphanage instead? I never knew the reason behind the hospital administration decision.
Untill today. M friend, the one who had given us all the information about the baby in the first place told me all about it today. Guess what happened? M’ friend told the hospital administration (of which he is also a part) to put send the baby to an orphanage because “the more I thought of it, the more I saw the baby, I realized that you wouldn’t want to adopt such a dark baby” straight from the horse’s mouth. The poor little baby was sent off to an orphanage because she is dark!
She should have been here with me today. I should have been putting her to bed, holding her close. Instead, she is in some impersonal orphanage. Is he being fed okay? When my niece came to my sister from an orphanage, she was 3 months old and weighed 5 lbs. That’s how good the babies are cared for. I hope and pray the baby is adopted soon. Hope she NEVER meets a bigot like M’s friend.
I feel so incredible sad. Things could have been so different if that bigot had just asked us for our opinion. For as long as I live, I would never be able to forgive that guy. I wanted to bite his head off. Scream “NO, that’s not how it works.”
I am also filled with guilt. M’s friends parting shot was “don’t worry, soon there will be a girl at the hospital who would be perfect for you”. Is that what I am praying for? For a baby to be abandoned by her family? For her to suffer from a loss so terrible we can never even comprehend it?
I am devastated. I want my daughter.