Why I almost lost it....

This post contains facts that no one even in my family are aware of. I needed to be honest and look at all that I have faced and share it. I have pretended to be alright for way to long but now I DO have reasons to smile...

My life after marriage was tough, to say the least. I had several fights with my MIL and SIL. My MIL sold my husband’s family home and shifted to stay with her daughter. We were forced to move into a rented house with my husbands 78 year old grandmother and 8 year old brother. We were paying off a huge loan my husband had taken to marry his sister off. Things were tough but as both my husband and I were working we managed okay and even managed buy an under construction house.

But things took a turn for the worse when I got pregnant in 2009. I was forced to quit my job as mine was a high risk pregnancy. It was almost impossible to manage paying a loan, monthly EMI’s plus taking care of a family with only my husbands salary. So we decided to put our house for sale. That was in 2009 March. But we found no buyers. Soon we had used up all our savings to pay the EMI’s and had nothing left. We had no option but to default on our EMI’s. We lost our house. We lost our dream.

Our financial struggles continued as it was really difficult to look after a young baby, a teenager and an old lady. At the end of each month we had no money left. I struggled to attend meeting due to the lack of money. And when my son fell ill, I had to sell my gold necklace to pay for the treatment.

I was also struggling with my health in this time. I sufferd from severe body aches and acute exhaustion. In fact the tiredness was so bad that when I woke up in the mornings I used to feel like I had just run a marathon. No doctor was able to give me a correct diagnosis.

My brother, whom I love like my own son, was also struggling and that was making me feel very helpless. He worked hard but never got credited for it. Other’s always seemed to find favour with is boss while he was left behind.

My parents house in Delhi was breaking down. After my father’s death, we had tried to look after the house but after marriage the responsibility had fallen on our brother. With his low salary he found it extremely difficult to do anything. The house’s wiring had all but birn4d off. Only two rooms had lights. My mom actually cooked with the candle burning. The windows had all broken off. So bad was the situation that after every rain fall water would enter our drawing room. WE feared that the rain would actually wash away the house. Living in that house was so difficult that I had not gone there with my son after his birth and stayed with my sisters each time I went to Delhi. We were trying to sell the house since 2009 and had found no buyers yet again.

My brother was so depressed with his life that one day he called me crying, saying he cannot breath, saying that he loved me. I feared for his life. I thought I was losing my brother. He was rushed to the hospital due to panic attacks.

I was losing the battle. By the end of 2010, I was close to a nervous breakdown.

Now my reason to smile:

I was finally given a diagnosis - Fibromyalgia. Now I can manage my health much better.

M appeared for his LLM entrance exam and secured 16^th rank all over AP

My relation with my Mil and SIL changed completely. So much so that when my SIL’s husband returned from Singapore this last month, he bought us a gift – a 32 inch LED TV!

He is also sponsoring my husband’s my husband’s LLM course.

My brother finally got some credit at work and was awarded employee of the quarter by his employees. He won it among thousands of employees from all over the world.

My MIL transferred Rs 1 lac to my husband’s account. That’s the exact amount we needed to pay off our dept. We are now debt free, first time in 5 years! We can start saving now.

Last Tuesday, our Delhi home was finally sold. My brother got a very good price. He can now buy a new house, and a car and save some money too! He can now start a new life.

One day, I will own a house. I promise.