Saturday, July 16, 2011

Why I almost lost it....

This post contains facts that no one even in my family are aware of. I needed to be honest and look at all that I have faced and share it. I have pretended to be alright for way to long but now I DO have reasons to smile...

My life after marriage was tough, to say the least. I had several fights with my MIL and SIL. My MIL sold my husband’s family home and shifted to stay with her daughter. We were forced to move into a rented house with my husbands 78 year old grandmother and 8 year old brother. We were paying off a huge loan my husband had taken to marry his sister off. Things were tough but as both my husband and I were working we managed okay and even managed buy an under construction house.
But things took a turn for the worse when I got pregnant in 2009. I was forced to quit my job as mine was a high risk pregnancy. It was almost impossible to manage paying a loan, monthly EMI’s plus taking care of a family with only my husbands salary. So we decided to put our house for sale. That was in 2009 March. But we found no buyers. Soon we had used up all our savings to pay the EMI’s and had nothing left. We had no option but to default on our EMI’s. We lost our house. We lost our dream.
Our financial struggles continued as it was really difficult to look after a young baby, a teenager and an old lady. At the end of each month we had no money left. I struggled to attend meeting due to the lack of money. And when my son fell ill, I had to sell my gold necklace to pay for the treatment.
I was also struggling with my health in this time. I sufferd from severe body aches and acute exhaustion. In fact the tiredness was so bad that when I woke up in the mornings I used to feel like I had just run a marathon. No doctor was able to give me a correct diagnosis.
My brother, whom I love like my own son, was also struggling and that was making me feel very helpless. He worked hard but never got credited for it. Other’s always seemed to find favour with is boss while he was left behind.
My parents house in Delhi was breaking down. After my father’s death, we had tried to look after the house but after marriage the responsibility had fallen on our brother. With his low salary he found it extremely difficult to do anything. The house’s wiring had all but birn4d off. Only two rooms had lights. My mom actually cooked with the candle burning. The windows had all broken off. So bad was the situation that after every rain fall water would enter our drawing room. WE feared that the rain would actually wash away the house. Living in that house was so difficult that I had not gone there with my son after his birth and stayed with my sisters each time I went to Delhi. We were trying to sell the house since 2009 and had found no buyers yet again.
My brother was so depressed with his life that one day he called me crying, saying he cannot breath, saying that he loved me. I feared for his life. I thought I was losing my brother. He was rushed to the hospital due to panic attacks.
I was losing the battle. By the end of 2010, I was close to a nervous breakdown.

Now my reason to smile:

I was finally given a diagnosis - Fibromyalgia. Now I can manage my health much better.
M appeared for his LLM entrance exam and secured 16th rank all over AP
My relation with my Mil and SIL changed completely. So much so that when my SIL’s husband returned from Singapore this last month, he bought us a gift – a 32 inch LED TV!
He is also sponsoring my husband’s my husband’s LLM course.
My brother finally got some credit at work and was awarded employee of the quarter by his employees. He won it among thousands of employees from all over the world.
My MIL transferred Rs 1 lac to my husband’s account. That’s the exact amount we needed to pay off our dept. We are now debt free, first time in 5 years! We can start saving now.
Last Tuesday, our Delhi home was finally sold. My brother got a very good price. He can now buy a new house, and a car and save some money too! He can now start a new life.

One day, I will own a house. I promise.


Deborah said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow, C, you have really been through a lot. I am so glad to hear all that good news at the end, especially about your diagnosis and about being debt-free. (I can't imagine being debt-free, maybe someday)

I am so hopeful that things are taking a turn for the better for you, with your finances, your marriage, and your family.

Esperanza said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow, that is an incredibly stressful situation (or set of situations). I cannot imagine weather those storms. It makes the struggles we're currently undergoing seem much more manageable than I had at first thought. I'm so glad things are looking up. I hope they turn around completely soon! Everyone deserves to feel financially stable, it brings so much peace.

Aisha said... Best Blogger Tips

C- I am so sorry- that is a lot to go through- and selling your jewelry- as a desi I can understand to a certain degree the pain that must have caused. *hugs* and kudos to you fory our ability to smile and see the good regardless- you are a brave woman. May your son learn how to be strong from a role model like you.

Anjita said... Best Blogger Tips

C, it is a very touching story. You are a fighter. I am glad to see everything worked out for good, but you are the only one who know the pains of it all. I wish your family the best and never to go through something like this again.

md said... Best Blogger Tips

so glad to hear that things are going well now, and i hope they remain good!!

C said... Best Blogger Tips

@Deborah Being debt free is HUGE deal for us. Things are looking up, therapy seems to be working.

C said... Best Blogger Tips

@Esperanza stability is all I am looking for, I dont need too much money :)

C said... Best Blogger Tips

@Aisha Selling jewelry was a huge deal but I am really not into gold and thing of it just as investment. Strong? Me? hmmm I just wisj I was stronger

C said... Best Blogger Tips

@Anjita Thanks Anjita

C said... Best Blogger Tips

@mdI hope they get better ;)

Elana said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow. That sounds so stressful and I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I am glad that things are finally looking up for you!

Here from ICLW

JustHeather said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow, that is a lot to go through. I am glad to hear you and your family persevered and are now seeing some positives! May things continue to work for the best.
ICLW #55

Missy said... Best Blogger Tips

Glad things seem finally to be turning around for you.

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow! You have been through so much...yet you remain so positive. I hope your wait to adopt is short and your family is complete soon! :)
Visiting from ICLW.

Stacie said... Best Blogger Tips

What a challenging time in your life! I am so glad that things have turned for the better and now you and your family are on happier times.

Here via ICLW.

Tippy said... Best Blogger Tips

you have been through an amazing amount of stress in your life. you are a strong woman and i hope that looking back on your struggles, you will find peace and strength and know that you can accomplish anything

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

This is wonderful news! Winter never fails to turn to spring. How did you think you made it through it all?