I am still here in Hyderbad. We are seeing a marriage counsellor. and I am trying hypnotherapy for my issues. I have decided not to blog about my marrriage and m because things are very raw right now and I don't some one to read my blog and talk to M about it. Now is not the time to be brave. In a few months I will talk about it again.
***************************************************************************
Till then I have decided to concentrate on all that I love, all that's good in my life. Starting with RAIN!
It rained today, and it feels like heaven .Everything looks pure and pristine. The trees are dancing to a silent song I long to hear. The birds are happy too I guess. I can hear them sing. I watch the raindrops fall on my window, and I remember the days gone by.Days spent with friends, jumping over puddles, singing along our favorite songs, without a care in the world, playing cricket in the rain (yes we did that!).And today all those days are just memories, beautiful memories that makes me cry. Days have fled.On days like today, when things are perfect, my heart just flies back in time, why cant I relive those moments? I know I cant, and that’s what makes things more difficult.I am reminded of a song ‘Its yesterday once more’.So true to what I feel now...I know this feeling will pass, and I will go on living my present life as I should..
But this moment, when the memories refuse to leave me alone, when all I want is to be a 13 year old again, is precious too. Friends, I miss them so.Maybe, just maybe, if I had my friends around, I wouldn’t feel so alone on a beautiful day like today, if they were around I would have created new memories with them. But then I realize - How lucky am I to have these memories? To have friends who have stuck with me these last twenty years? How many are lucky to have such good freinds? So okay they are not around physically..but all I need to do is pick up the phone and talk to them. and then there are the memories...And I went out and got wet. Looked up into the sky and thanked the universe. The rain drops fell on my face and I remembered a song from long ago "Rimjhim girey sawan" all is good with the world. The rain still is my friend. and I have another moment that has become a beautiful memory.
And life seems perfect, right now right here. This is my god, this is my heaven.
2 comments:
I'm glad to read this post. One time when I was feeling crappy, I wrote a blog post about 10 things that made me happy, and I couldn't believe how much better I felt aferward. I hope writing it helped you, too.
Can you make friends where you are? I don't know why you live so far from your friends & family, but there's got to be a way to make it easier. Are there mom's groups or other activities where you could meet people?
@Deborah es..concentrating on the positives definitely makes life easier. I actually moved to a different city after marriage. Toughest thing is that I find it difficult to make friends. I can be friendly but am so selective when it comes to hanging out with people. I am just so different and eccentric lol
Post a Comment