Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cry for help?

The fear creeps in. The fear of dying, the fear of suffering. My health is in tatters. I hate feeling so weak and helpless. I know I don’t look good at the moment. I have lost too much weight. Yes, I do hate not looking my best, but I can live with that. But I CANNOT live a life which is so full of feeling sick. What is wrong with my body? I want to take care of Danny. I want to play with him. I want to teach him things. But now, all I want when he is awake is for him to nap, so I can sleep too. I am missing out on his growing up because I am so stressed and weak. I am unable to keep up with him. He is hyperactive. He is adorable. But All I seem to notice is how many hours he has been awake so I can take him for his nap…I hate it all…


Timi said... Best Blogger Tips

wow, I have no idea what is going on, but I can only feel for you. Is there anything that you can do to help?

Case #191419 said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm also not very sure what's going on, but this made me very sad to read. You're sick, it's understandable if you want to sleep a lot. It is awful that you're missing out on some things, but not everything. Just for now, you get better. Danny will be there when you wake up after your nap.
I hope this helped, it might have helped a lot, or might have made no sense at all. In either case, I'm still sorry. Leave my comments or messages or whatever you do on here if you want someone to talk to. <3

Danelle said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi Chhandy,

I don't know where to comment these days because it seems I never hear from you after you tell me something.

It is okay to feel this way and you aren't missing out on anything. Danny doesn't know and you need rest. You have plenty of catch up time once you get your body healed or in a state that you can care for him. My mom had breast cancer when she was pregnant with me. They took me out early so they could give her chemo in hopes she lived. My first two years of my life were spent not having a mom til she was well. Luckily she survived that first round! And I don't even remember it. Now dear remember when you adopt you don't have the first years of the baby's life. So just be blessed and happy you have Danny....the rest will take care of itsel. Love you! Danelle