Danny is 7 months old today!!! For the last month or so, i have been feeling really really low. nothing like i have ever felt before. I have no patience..i shout at at everybody..husband, BIL, husbands granny....even my friends....I cry for no reason, cant sleep (Danny is sleeping through the night now)..but the worst is when I get so angry that I feel like hitting my son (i have never done that, but am so scared). I love him so damn much...now a days am even afraid of being alone with him...I thought PPD hit mothers just after giving birth, but now i hear it can hit anytime within a year of giving birth. This is really hell...I hate this darkness.... its tough looking after a baby alone, with NO help, and now this....Am trying to chant but i think i will have to see a doctor soon... I just want to be a good mom, right now i hate the person i am.....This little sweetheart deserves a better mom...
3 comments:
I went through PPD myself with all three of my children, although the worst was definately with my first daughter.
I really, really like your blog. You are real, you are hopeful, you are honest. To quote one of my fav. old songs . . . You and "I get knocked down, but I get up again, nobody's gonna keep me down!"
Keep trekking. I'm reading. And your baby is absolutely beautiful!
Liz
Your son is beautiful & it seems like you are an amazing mom! Definitely talk to your OB/GYN about what you're feeling- it's normal, but shouldn't be ignored.
You may also want to explore other activities- something that really helped me is exercise. I joined a Stroller Strides class and it has really helped me out! Talk to people about it & give yourself a break!
Chhandita - you are an amazing mom. Never ever doubt that. If you are feeling low, see a doctor. Talk to your family, friends, us, and vent as much as you want.
Take care of yourself. ((Hugs))
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