Thursday, April 29, 2010

Adoption Blues

Some of you may remember that DH and I had started adoption process last year January, but then I got pregnant and we decided to wait untill Danny was a little older. Danny is now 7 months and we have decided that its time to move fprward and bring our daughter home. Next month we will complete the paperwork. But things have changed…last year when we had told M’s granny that we were planning to adopt she was very supportive but now when we told her, she asked why not have another biologically,. Why not indeed… There are numerous reasons. First Just because I had Danny does not mean that concieving a second time will be any easier and I am NOT ready to go through all that rollercoaster of emotions again. Secondly, this is whatM and I had always wanted, even before we got married…to adopt a baby girl!!!

We were thinking of adopting a baby of 2-3 years of age, but now have decided to adopt a 6 month old. (here we can only adopt through orphanages and you cannot get a baby younger then 6 months). Why are we going for a younger baby? Now this may sound politically incorrect, but here goes. We were afraid that it would have been difficult to bond with an older child. We may be wrong, but that’s what we thought. It took us almost a month after Danny was born to really fall in love with him…so…adoption is not easy is it? We want to do whats best for the little girl.

Adoptive parents out there: How easy or tough was it to bond with your child? Is it more difficult if you already have a biological child? I donnot want to behave differently with my children…how do I prepare myself? Any advice will be appreciated…


Brownie said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi - just came across your blog. I gave birth to a daughter - who will be soon 13. We have an adopted son who is now 5. I don't think I love them the same but I'm sure it's the difference between a son and a daughter. I love them both tremendously. We adopted Red when he was almost 2 yrs old; although we had him in our home at 3 weeks old. All that time he was a foster babe until he was free for us to adopt. That was hard and I wouldn't have been able to do it again if we had to give him up. But he is our's now.

I understand what you are saying about wondering about bonding with an older child. I may be easier with a younger just because you have that thought. But NO ONE should put you down for it - you have to be honest with yourself to be there for whatever child comes to you.

How do you prepare? I have no real advice. I just know that the desire for the child is utmost.