Second Trimester - Whoosh!!!

I am almost at the end of my 2nd trimester. In spite of all the physical discomfort, these last three months just flew away... It feels surreal that in a few days I will be in my seventh month...Whoa! Time sure is flying...

Physically, things are going from bad to worse. The painkillers helped me cope with the SPD pain a little, and a lot of lying on the bed made things a bit easier, but now my back and ribs have decided to NOT let me lie in the bed. So lets see, I cant walk too much of my pelvic bone starts killing me. I cant sit for too long for the same reason and now I can't lie down either (sleeping in any case has become an Utopia)... Things got really nasty this last week. my 11 year old brother in law got a bad cut and needed 6 stitches. So I was on his beck and call the whole week. He is back in school now, and I can rest a little.

Oh yeah, my haemoglobin levels have dropped to 9.9 so now I gotta work to get that in order too.

I shouldn't crib I guess but not easy ...

Emotionally, I feel lonely, and wish I had someone down here with me. My sister and mother are going to visiting me in August, so that is something to look forward to...I am not very good at asking people for emotional support, have really not needed much of it. Have always been a loner, and for my family, I have always been the strongest one (they got no clue how much hard work it took to get rid of all that emotional baggage)

But somehow i am also feeling stronger. I have fallen head over heels in love with this little rascal...

It is an amazing and an overwhelming feeling when your baby kicks inside your womb.... I watch my tummy for hours just to look at the kicks and movements... Yesterday, he was happily swimming around (it gets a little uncomfortable) and I *think* was poking me with his head. I gave a little pat, and right away, he kicked back. It almost felt like we were communicating. We kept the game up for 5 minutes, but then I guess he got tired and went to explore some other interesting part of the uterus... I know it was all my imagination, but it sure felt good ...

Right now, am a little scared about a pre-term baby, as SPD can cause pre-term labour. my sister had SPD and her lill daughter was born at 33 weeks...am asking baby Dan to stay put for at least another 10-11 weeks...

A question: IS it only me, or do all mom-to-be worry about ugly babies? I am definitely not a shallow person, but I don't want my child to go through what I did. Being compared to others and told that you are not good enough hurts, and can scar you for life...But no matter what, I will make sure my baby has a beautiful heart and soul...

I am done worrying...Keep telling myself my favourite phrase "God has a plan for my life, and that's all I need to know". Come on life, throw me whatever challenge you can think of, i WILL WIN, YOU JUST SEE...

PS: RIP Jacko...your music will live on...