Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The big IF question

Two couples, same age, same physical condition. One gets married at the age of 27 and gets pregnant at the age of 28,only for the pregnancy to end in a miscarriage. Another 18 months go by, and finally the couple decides to move on and walk the adoption path. Miracle! They get a BFP the very next cycle!

The second couple gets married at the age of 29, in the month of February 2009, and bang in March they have their BFP! And guess what? They were not even trying!

The first couple is me and M, the second is my best friend Nidhi.

Yup, she is pregnant! I am very happy for her, I truly am. I know she is going through the worst phase of her life, after losing her mom to cancer.

And yes, I am definitely happier that I got my BFP before hers! I remember, posting a blog in November or December about my biggest fear being Nidhi getting pregnant before I did.

But I can’t help but wonder…What were we doing wrong? Is it some position we missed out on? Whats with these super fertile couples? How come two seemingly similar pair has such different experiences? I mean I still don’t understand how this works. How did WE get pregnant? We did nothing new, in fact we hardly even had sex! So is it really all about the big G-D will? I got NO CLUE!!

I wish I could figure out the mystery behind all this unexplained infertility phenomenon…

Also, does being in the IF universe mean we are more informed? I asked Nidhi about her ‘week’ and she says ‘don’t ask such technical questions’. Hmmmm….

Update: Almost 20 weeks, and baby Dan is moving around quite a bit! And he already likes Mallik more then me … How do I know? Well, this morning mallik just looked at my tummy and said come on, give her a kick, and within 5 minutes I felt like a dozen kicks…grrrr

I am feeling much better then before. Got a lot of energy, constantly doing stuff a round the house, eating nice…and getting big. I look pregnant!! But haven’t gained any weight…How is this happening, I got no clue…But that’s how things are today…

Mentally, am ok. Not feeling much, just going through my days…To end with, I want to share these beautiful lines i found in Khalil Gibran's Prophet. "On Children-"Give them your love but not your thoughts, they have their own thoughts. Strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you; life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. House their bodies but not their souls, their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams..."

5 comments:

Nikki said... Best Blogger Tips

I've probably been doing something really really wrong then! :-) Married 12 years, trying 8. Everyone else got pregnant, moved on, got pregnant again, and are basically done with their families.

Love Khalil Gibran's words btw! And glad to know you're doing well. 20 weeks already??? Wow!

Charlotte Heaven said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow, halfway there!! Congrats, that is huge!

S said... Best Blogger Tips

glad to hear all is well with you and your baby (I cant comment on the whole fertile people universe thing, I dont get it, I never will).

my favorite quote from on children is the beginning "Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you." - I have used this one many times. especially life's longing for itself. reminds me of one of my favorite cummings poems, i carry your heart, that I've always associated with my daughter/babies, and with wanting a live child "here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart".

take care and look after yourselves!

xx

yasho said... Best Blogger Tips

Chhand

Happy to know you are OK...

Su

Xbox4NappyRash said... Best Blogger Tips

We are definitely more informed.

I had a funny conversation with a pregnant (Nr 2) friend, and what she didn't know about her own pregnancy was hilarious.