Not all skinny girls/women are anorexic, or suffer from some eating disorder. And they are real women too! But who is going to listen. I have always been skinny, tried everything under the sun to put on weight. All those high calorie diets, visits to the doctor, working out in the gym, even taking birth control pills with a non-existent sex life!! Nothing worked. I was 85 pounds for at least 10 years. No fluctuations. My weight just refused to move. I tried hard to accept myself, to make peace with my body, but the whole world seemed more worried about my weight. I had strangers coming up and asking me to eat something. I tried being polite and smile, I tried being rude and telling them to sod off. I actually came up with witty remarks to get at them. Once when a filled out Punjabi aunty (In Delhi), sitting besides me in the bus, remarked “why are you so thin beta, don’t you eat anything?” I replied, with my best poor me look “ No, Aunty, my mother refuses to feed me, can I come and eat at your place”. I know it was rude of me, but I do run out of patience. I still get those comments, so I m learning to just ignore them.
It’s not easy being skinny. People stare at me and make comments, which are plain and simply INSULTING. I am a happy, healthy 31-year-old woman. Though, people refuse to accept the healthy part.
I have a small built, and no matter how much weight I put on, I can never be voluptuous. Period. But I have faced such insulting situations that they have left a deep scar on my psyche. My boyfriend left me when I was 16 and told everyone “she is too skinny". I cried, I scratched my body. I hated myself. It took me years to even look myself in the mirror.
I am 31 now, and I still get mistaken for being a college girl. I am pretty happy actually (who wants to look old huh?) I gave birth last year and that much wanted curvy body, but breastfeeding and running after a toddler has taken me back to my skinny body.
For years, I have faced those scornful stares. Just because I don’t fit into that idea of what a woman should look like!! No matter how much I have achieved as a career woman, or as a sister, daughter or wife, and now a mom to a 1 year old. I am still branded as that skinny girl.
We all want to feel beautiful -- fat or thin, short or tall, dark, or fair. Why can’t we just let people be? Why can’t we let people be happy and beautiful from inside?
This is me, yup am a skinny mom. Won't mind gaining a few pounds. But what I need is to make peace with my body.