TTC Diary

CD15 today. I generally O on CD16-17..but once in a blue moon also O on CD13..so This week is busy for me...but alas, mallik is so taken up with his studies that we have BD only on CD12 n CD13. Hope to get a quickie today too..But don't have too much hope for this month...

But or the first time in my TTC journey I am not feeling alone. Maybe it's because I have finally discovered women like me out here on the Blogosphere and its such an amazing feeling to be made a part of this family. I don't find many IF women from India here though...But that hasn't really made a difference...

I am actually happy... :)

Writing blues..

I follow some really interesting blogs and Must admit that one of the reasons I follow them is because they are well written...But I myself don’t pay too much attention to how i write here...and I wish I wrote more frequently.......But writing has become my job (am an editorial manager, and writing and editing is something i do to make money now)..There was a time when writing was my passion. Not any more. Writing outside of office has become a chore, and i really do not like the way it has turned out.... Writing used to be my passion, the 0ne thing I enjoyed doing over everything else.....

I wish I had followed my heart and become a teacher...but i wanted my family to be proud of me...I always thought becoming successful will finally make me at par with my beautiful and talented sisters....I wanted to be seen and appreciated...I realized a little late that everyone did love me and accept me with all my flaws... I am finally taking a step towards fulfilling my dream...I am going to finally do my master in political science, something I was unable to do as I had to start working immediately after graduation to support my mom...I hope in another 3 years I will become a teacher.. . And maybe then writing will become what it was meant to, my passion. I will finally write that book about daddy.... plz let me do it dad....!

TTC diary: yesterday I had my first real heart to heart talk about ttc and it felt really good....we decided to just continue trying and not put a time line. I am just 29 and he is 28... Guess we have some time...but for that we will need the strength that you brave girls seem to possess. Pray for us...

hard times.............

Am I PMSing? I still have 8-10 days before the RED witch is supposed to arrive!!!

Mad mad mood swings...I had a terrible fight with hubby yesterday night... He has his Bar exams and has been busy staying up late (at his friends place) studying...I cant sleep till he comes home and he cant study at home.... I cannot survive on -6 hours of sleep... and over that my terrible mood swings..i created a huge scene at 2am!! cried buckets.... everything is OK now. Thankfully neither of of drag a fight for too long and don't sleep over an argument. But i honestly felt down in the dumps..suicidal even...felt like there is no purpose in life.. I hate PMS.... it makes me weak...aha and it also tells me that I am NOT pregnant...............................


EDIT: I just came across this quote from a blog I follow..."Holding on to the dream, until the pain of trying hurts more than the pain of letting go" so true..